The Roller Coaster Continues

  

Today is day three. Our embryos have been alive for only a short time. We’ve been sending them good thoughts and good vibes. As weird as it is, Chris and I have been having conversations with our embabies; telling them how wanted and loved they already are, and asking them to stick around. 

We were promised an update from the clinic today, so both Chris and I were on the edge of our seats. At 4:30 they finally called. 

On day three, embryos should be 6-8 cells. Eight cells is preffered. Here is the current breakdown of our embabies:

  • 2 embryos at 6 cells
  • 2 embryos at 5 cells
  • 1 embryo at 4 cells
  • 4 embryos at <4 cells

Being a normal person, I didn’t really know what to make of this news. So I turned to Dr. Google. I discovered that not only are our embryos slow-growing, but typically slow growing embryos are less likely to result in pregnancy. So that scared the crap out of me. Great job, Heather!

I’m an open-minded woman. I’d like to think there’s a chance that they can grow and change in the next 48 hours. I’m not going to write things off yet. 

However, I definitely just had the biggest cry I’ve had since starting IVF. I feel like I’ve been so stoic and brave throughout this process.  I’ve showed little to no emotion. I’ve been super strong. Tonight it all came crashing down. My heart is so attached to these babies. I just wish there was something I could do for them. I feel helpless. But I still have hope. 

29 thoughts on “The Roller Coaster Continues

  1. sroseb83 says:

    I am sorry to hear about your embabies, but I will still hold out hope for you! From reading your blog, you guys have such a unique story that maybe things might be a little slow at first and will still be super healthy in the end! Every story is different and Dr. Google is the devil πŸ˜‰ My fingers and toes are crossed for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Leah says:

    You are doing great. Have a cry whenever you need. You don’t have to be strong – this is so much to go through. I’m hoping for lots of growth of those little embabies of yours!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. oc15 says:

    i have felt all your pain and know how down and scared you are right now. it’s a very hopeless feeling but you must keep your faith in those embabies going. it’s not over yet and like julia c. says “all it takes is one”. i continue to think of you and your embryos everyday and hope for the best for all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. theskyandback says:

    This is the hardest part of IVF, I think. During the stim phase at least you are doing everything you can–taking your injections at the right time, eating healthy, etc. But now, it’s totally out of your control. It’s terrifying. I’m not looking forward to going through that part again. The fact that you have so many still alive at day 3 is awesome! I think I had 5 left on day 3, and I ended up with two excellent-quality blastocysts. One of which they transferred and resulted in a pregnancy, and the other is in the freezer. The fact that you have nine still going, even if some are “slow” is fabulous! If your clinic thought your situation was dire they would’ve had you do a day 3 transfer, but the fact that you’re waiting until day 5 means that they have confidence in your embies. I’m hoping they all catch up by day five and you have some to transfer and some to freeze. Try to hang in there–this is not easy stuff, but you’re in the home stretch!

    Liked by 3 people

    • heatherhopeful says:

      You are so right! Stims were a piece of cake in comparison! My cycle is frozen, so I didn’t have the option of a 3 day transfer. They’d started giving me Provera, so unfortunately, fresh transfer was no longer an option. Just hoping for good news tomorrow and some good ones to freeze! Thanks for the support.

      Like

  5. 30yr old nothing says:

    It’s so strange I also had a breakdown while our embryos were growing. I think while you’re stimming you have no time for emotion because you’re in focus mode and once you realize you have no control over how your embryos grow you kind of lose it. I totally understand. I hope you’re taking care of yourself during these 5 days. I’ll be keeping you, hubby and your kiddos in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. caangel87 says:

    I’ve been thinking and hoping for you guys! Hang in there! I decided today that it doesn’t matter what they do before transfer only what they do after, that’s when the real magic happens! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  7. myivfdiary2015 says:

    We had a day 3 transfer on our first cycle as our embies were fragmented, grainy, of poor quality and were not meeting the cell division requirements for blastocyst. It worked and we got one gorgeous baby boy. Stay positive – you have one massive thing on your side and that is youth. Get all the bad thoughts out in the open and refocus. What will be will be x

    Liked by 1 person

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